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Olympians

February 13, 2010

I love, love, love the Olympics! I get so excited when it’s “that time.” I watch from the beginning of the opening ceremonies to the end of the closing ceremonies. I watch as many events as time allows. I never get enough.

When I was a young girl, during the 1984 Summer Olympics, my sisters and I created a make-shift gymnastic apparatus out of our couch. I would give my best Mary Lou Retton imitation by signaling to the imaginary judges, running as fast as I could from the kitchen into the living room, and hurling my body into a hand-stand position on the couch. My sisters were both my competitors and my judges. Ah, those were some good times.

There’s something incredibly attractive and sexy about Olympic athletes. They are very hard-working, dedicated, fearless, determined, and relentless. Those are all admirable traits. Those are all traits that I wish I had. The reality is that I am not hard-working. I’m a quitter. I am not fearless. I am fearful. I am not determined or dedicated. I am ambition-less and undedicated.

Do I get to blame these things on debilitating depression? Are the odds against me because I’m bipolar? I don’t know. If I were being as gentle with myself as a therapist would be, what would I say to myself? I’m not sure. I just know I can’t let myself off the hook.

I can strive for better, for more. I know I’ll never be an Olympian. I’ll be okay with that if I can just make some real progress in the life that I’ve been given. It’s going to take work… a different kind of work than that of an athlete. I am capable of hard work. I have to dedicate myself to this task. My life depends on it.

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3 comments

  1. There is a reason why Olympians are Olympians. They are rare breed. Few of us are fearless. I’d like to say none of us, but there are a few idiots out there. 😉 Also, I don’t think it’s possible to be ambition-less when you have an admiration for Olympians. Some part of you strives to be like them, and that is ambition in and of itself. You know that you can’t let yourself off the hook. That’s determination. You know you have to dedicate yourself to the task of making progress in your life and that your life depends on it. That is you pushing forward and being relentless.


    • Thanks, freelyfloating. You’re too kind. 🙂


      • I like freelyfloating! Thanks for encouraging my friend. Remember, Heather, baby-steps. 8^)



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