Archive for the ‘Anxiety’ Category

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Road Trips

February 22, 2010

I used to love going on road trips. When I was growing up, almost all of our family vacations consisted of traveling many hours to visit relatives. We’re talking seven-hour, nine-hour, and twelve-hour road trips. I loved staring out the window at the ever-changing Texas landscape. I loved listening to the radio. I loved letting my mind wonder… imagine… envision… plan. I could dream big – as big as Texas. Anything was possible.

As an adult, I’ve also enjoyed road trips. If I travel alone, I love that I can be one with my thoughts – uninterrupted. I love the wide open spaces. I love the long road in front of me. If I’m traveling with my sisters – I love the conversation and the singing along (quite loudly) with Journey’s Greatest Hits cd (best road-trip cd ever).

Something has changed in the past year or so. Anytime I’ve had to travel out-of-town, I’ve experienced quite a bit of anxiety. It sucks! I’m constantly worried about my car breaking down or about getting in an accident, or I don’t know what.

To be fair, I have had a few issues with my car in past trips, especially in the last year. I know that must be playing a part in all this, although anxiety has never been an issue for me, previously.

Even when I ride the bus (because of the car issues) from my city to my sister’s city, which I’ve done quite a bit this year, I become anxious. I just want to be there already. I don’t want to go through the process. It’s just too much. I don’t get any pleasure out of it. I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts. It’s way too uncomfortable.

In two weeks, I have to take a seven-hour trip with my dad and return home two days later. STRESS. My dad, whom I love dearly, will talk the ENTIRE trip. (Deep breath.) This will only add to my anxiety. The purpose of this trip is to get all my STUFF that my aunt and uncle have graciously been storing on their property – an apartment full of stuff. The thought of dealing with it makes me sick to my stomach.

I hope this trip-associated anxiety will disappear one day. Road travel used to be so therapeutic for me. I envision many trips in my future. I want to be able to enjoy, not dread, them.

If anything is possible, can’t this be?

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